


Surprise!

by lost_spook



Category: Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who: Virgin New Adventures - Various Authors
Genre: Gen, Humor, Yeti - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-04
Updated: 2011-10-04
Packaged: 2017-10-24 07:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lost_spook/pseuds/lost_spook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven and Benny are alone in the dark and in trouble.  Business as usual, dear diary, except for one small detail.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

> From the Randomiser prompt: Seven/Benny/Yeti.

“Doctor?” said Benny, her voice thin in the pitch darkness.

He turned his head to where he assumed she still was. “Hmm?”

“There’s something I’ve got to ask you.”

“Fire away.”

She said more quietly, “No, this is really important. You give me the wrong answer and I’ll have to kill you.”

“I have apologised once already.”

He really should have listened to her, he reflected. After all, she did know a considerable amount about her chosen subject and if she’d said that the Jacasians considered brandishing cutlery in the Temple of Hakoff to be desecration, it would have saved an awful lot of trouble if he’d put the spoons away. Unfortunately, he’d assumed this was due to her usual allergy to his musical abilities and general flippancy. Now they were trapped in the Pit of Hakoff, supposedly until they rotted away. Mind you, if she wouldn’t keep talking, he’d have thought of a way out by now.

“No, it’s not that,” she said. “Although, if we do get out of this alive, I shall expect significantly more grovelling. Possibly ice cream, pizza and alcohol. Maybe even chocolate.”

“Well, what is it then?”

Benny paused. “You want me to ask the question?”

“Yes.”

She said. “Are you holding my hand?”

“Yes. You don’t mind, do you?”

Benny hesitated again. “It’s just… I mean, that’s the right answer, but… Since when did you lose a finger? Plus, I don’t remember you wearing a coat, especially not a big fur coat… And you’re a lot taller sitting up…”

There was a long moment of silence.

“I’m not wearing a coat,” he said. “Er, as a matter of fact, they took my jacket.”

Benny coughed. “So, whose hands are we holding?”

Two eyes glowed in the darkness and there was a roar.

Despite the inky darkness, they both yelled and ran.

*

From deeper down in the Pit of Hakoff came the sounds of distress.

“You git! You complete and utter _git_! You must have known it was there!”

“ _Ow_! Benny, stop it!”

“I’ve been cuddling up to a lethal hairy robot Yeti for the best part of an hour. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now!”

“Well, I think I can get us out of here.”

“You know, that’s the right answer. I’ll kill you _after_ we’re safely back on board the TARDIS.”

There was a definite pause.

“Ice cream, did you say? That could be arranged.”

“Don’t tell me, you know a great planet constructed entirely from ice cream that’s due to be invaded by marsh-mallow monsters round about now?”

Another silence followed.

“Doctor, please tell me that’s not actually _true_.”

He coughed again. “Well, the planet’s not actually made out of ice cream and the monsters are a chocolate based life-form -.”

“Monsters you can eat?”

There was another roar from somewhere behind them.

“What are we waiting for?”

They disappeared up a hollowed out tunnel that must act as ventilation shaft.

*

“Sorry about the cliché,” said the Doctor.

Benny shook her head. “I don’t mind cliches as long as it’s not ‘villain ties plucky heroine to the railway tracks’. I can’t be doing with moustaches and I'm not too keen on being hit with antiquated modes of transport, either.”

“Now, where were we?” he asked, giving her hand up to the surface. They emerged next to the TARDIS.

She narrowed her eyes. “You can’t possibly have spent the whole of your life running round the universe plotting out your adventures, so how do you do it?”

“It’s a knack.”

Benny followed him to the door. “Now, let’s get this straight, did you say something about an ice cream planet and chocolate monsters?”

“It’s not an ice cream planet; it’s merely their chief product for export and the chocolate-based life forms have an issue with the way their species are exploited for topping.”

She folded her arms. “As I said earlier, what are we waiting for?”

“You’re not to eat them,” he pointed out. “They’re intelligent beings.”

Benny said, “I’m not believing this one until I see it. And next time I’m curling up with a Yeti, _tell me_.”

“I was busy,” he said.

“Git,” retorted Benny as the TARDIS vanished in search of sweeter things than Yeti and deep, dark pits of doom. "And while I think of it, where are those spoons?"

 

***


End file.
